What I Saw

-

I was heading out the other night to embrace the dancing lights and to let the sweat play heated games along the canvas of my body. I had always hated the hallway though, and everytime I had to pass there, I would do it so quickly, as to always avoid the glare of the mirror. I felt like he was always so scornful, judging me with his bright soul-staring light, beckoning me to expose what I have laboured so well to shield, my entire existence. But damn that mirror....he was so good, penetratingly so. 

As I hurried past, eager to escape his gaze, he caught me and I was a forced to face him. Unhurriedly, I turned to confront him, expecting his derision and his retribution. With quivering feet, I met his gaze and I let him scrutinize me. He looked at me, piercing every fibre that carved my body and right there I was....... unadorned.

In the middle of the trial of "me", I caught the sliver of grey close to my forehead and I saw some wrinkles greet me with a smile. I saw some places sagging and by now my heart was full with remorse. I was so afraid of the mirror that I had never took time to look....to bask and wonder in the woman that had walked the Earth's struggles and had conquered. And as if he understood me, his glimmering light seeped further into me and I saw my radiance being flashed from the inside. She was sending a signal that only I could interpret. How staggering! .......Our very own love language.

"Hey you," I whispered. "I have not taken notice of you,  I have not seemed to care." She whispered, "I have longed for you to look deep within and with every passing day that you avoided looking in, I started to feel despair." And so we both wept with the mirror as our witness but the tears sealed a bond between the child within and myself and we formed a pact.

I promised to heal her ,with the aid of the mirror and I promised to always stop and look. I promised to care for her and be kind to her in the moments when Grace knocks on no doors. She was thrilled at my promises, for it meant we could be one. Immersed in authenticity, we embraced and became conjoined. My best friend sat with me from within.

From that night onward, I loved to stop and greet the mirror and I loved how his lights always twinkled,  "hello." I let him look me over for I had now conquered that fear. I had become content with who I could see. I was no longer afraid of what I saw. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Story of Many

-
Geneva hastened along the fragmented, concrete path that connected her humble dwelling to the outside world. Though riddled with puddles and cracks that snapped toes, she had memorized every step. Her movements were automatic. She always found it humorous how the craters resembled her own life; the empty spaces and creases were very much like the voids she had been trying to fill ever since she was a child. Yesterday was her last "late warning," so she snapped out of it and hurriedly made her way to catch the early morning bus. On both sides, columns of dingy, rusty galvanize served as fences. "What could they even protect?" thought Geneva, and that gave her a chuckle. Her friend Sharon was already leaning over her veranda to wait for Geneva for the latest neighbourhood gossip. Lord, how could she escape her? "Not today, Sharon, girl I'll miss my bus!" hailed Geneva as politely as she could. Sharon had already given up, had accepted she would never mak...
Read more

Forget Them

-
The quest for closure can sometimes come at a high price. People intentionally hurt us and act like we pulled the knife from their back. Closure sometimes looks like accepting that others do not associate themselves with accountability. Closure can look like understanding that others are more interested in their self- righteousness and false sense of grandiosity than actually building and sustaining meaningful relationships. Closure can look like accepting that some people will never admit they are wrong even if the devil held the meeting with them himself. Closure means choosing you. Choosing you and walking away from what others will never acknowledge. Why don't you acknowledge how amazing you are instead, how freely you love, how slow you judge and how automatically that light inside you shines? Why don't you focus on the glowing parts of you, feast with yourself and break good bread? People eventually tell on themselves, just give them time. Did you take accountability in s...
Read more

Uncanny

-
A big headed, protruding navel, slang talking little boy just popped up in our amidst. All we knew was that he was my uncle's son and a trail of mischief was forever his shadow (inserts chuckle). His name was even stranger.....Jomokenyatah? What on God's green Earth? (inserts chuckle through tears). No formal introduction was necessary,  he just fit right in. We swear, he became our granny's favourite in absolutely no time! Hiding stuff in her blouse to hand to him when she thought we didn't notice, that was a tell all. (inserts chuckle) We remember the days when he ran naked and his mother screamed "Oba,"....... to which there was never a response, just giddy innocence and joy to be part of a clan. More like a brother than a cousin, Jomokenyatah became our own. We all loved him, looked after him, scolded him, hugged him, trailed him and sometimes feared for him. That mischief was otherworldly.  For some time, we did not see him because his passion landed him ...
Read more