No Entry

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Some days, I retreat into myself, and I pull down the blinds while the onset of darkness fills the void and hugs me. It's a terrifying hug that reminds me that I am here in this place of uncertainty once again. My thoughts are chained to where I sit because if I speak them out, they may roam in chaos and shatter illusions all around me.

Where I sit is a nest of pins and needles, never fit for a broken winged bird. Flight is impossible. Instead, I sit so stiff and let each challenge I don't want to face pierce me until I bleed. Then, I scream, but the echos bounce against deaf walls and reverberate against my ashy skin. I itch.

In the void, I look out to see the world passing by and I sit unfazed. The journey I have walked has split my heels and hardened my soul. Concrete feelings that no hammer can pound away, I sit tense. Every experience has come at a price and I have no more money left to pay.

And so, I sit in the dark, immersed in pain as its itching boils into a rash, playing games with my only friend, darkness, a friend I cannot see. In the coming days you might see me, yes, but you won't be able to reach me. A halo surrounds me with a sign that reads, "No entry." I hope you can read.

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