The New Adults

There are children who live in adults and they are hurt. Out of not knowing what to do with this hurt, they adopt the worst coping strategies and inevitably hurt others. The child is wounded; the adult frame is frail and every time the child mourns, growth derails. 

No one apologized to the child and so the adult believes no one is owed an apology. No one lifted up the child in praise, and so the adult criticizes harshly. The child who lives in the adult throws tantrums that bang like drums, screaming when the outside world dares to go against the ego. There goes the adult coward, fearful of what others may say or think, and so the adult learns to be vicious, to be manipulative, to be deceitful, the child in the adult has learned to get his or her way or he or she will ruin the other's day. The child will make the adult crush whoever stands in the way, the child has yet to learn any boundaries. The child scrutinizes, looks for an agenda in everything, the child in the adult uselessly makes enemies.

So, the next time you are faced with an adult treating you as less, posing in superiority and striding in grandiosity, remember there's a child in there. A child who's not learned that there is space for us all. A child who shifts from here to there out of not wanting to be alone. A child who shrinks when others win, a child who frowns, who does not acknowledge sin. A child in an adult who compares, who measures his or her worth by imaginary standards, an adult child who gives no applause

Watch out for the adult children, the ones who watch you with scorn when they think you're not looking. The adult children who push daggers through your back but help you ease the pain while smiling. The adults who love when you fall, who whisper and love your shortcomings. Watch out for the adults who avoid accountability, who are the opposite of integrity, the adults who could not care even if they were paid to. The adults who are the opposite of confidentiality. Watch out, I beg you, the world is full of them.

Now, go speak to that child in the adult that's you. Hug him, hug her, ease the suffering. Love your child unconditionally. Clap for the child in you. Do not let that child remain angry, encourage that child to forgive.