Friendship Dynamics

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 As if I was not supposed to know that! Are you not her friend? This was so easy for you to unload; you are even foaming at the mouth, salivating, gossip tastes sweet. You enjoy this don't you? Sprawling all the details of her life and forgetting that you have sins too. But hey, let's cover yours and keep it sacred and expose hers, shall we? Now I am sitting here staring, and suddenly starting to feel afraid of you.

Friendship should be sacred but maybe you missed that memorandum. It should be a safe space and calming energy shared along a bridge of trust, with signs pitched along that read "I've got you and you've got me." All I see though are shadowy creatures, lurking in the dark pits of competition, secretly hoping for the downfall of their "friends", yet beaming with smiles when they say "hello". All I feel is contention, because you believe I should not have attained before you or you just don't want me to have it because you do not have it. What kind of friendship is that? The kind I do not want, obviously.

Circles of friends at every streetside corner, gossip as their glue; each awaiting the departure of the other so that unfortunate one can get their fair share too. Yet they assemble each day because this addiction gives a high unlike any other. It justifies their wretchedness and enables the bruised ego to bleed more hatred, at the expense of tarnishing other people's soul. Yet they proclaim, "this is my friend" and do it effortlessly too, all the while, with an evil eye that is really saying "I envy you."

I pledge to not use this word so loosely as the dynamics have flipped. You are still here talking, burning her to the ground, and now I stand up sharply and shout "Good heavens, I would never want a friend like you!"

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