10 Red Flags

Ameera had just landed her promotion as senior writer at the local newspaper called "The Truth." Writing was her calling and she could not function without her fingers tapping ideas haphazardly until they unlocked puzzles or created mysteries. Her boss was persistent. One week in and he was already making demands. With personal battles shooting like darts and her heart as the target, she felt like she just needed some more time. Ameera's boss, Mr. Trial, was simply merciless and time was the one thing he always announced he did not have. He wanted something riveting, something to tug at the experience of the reader, something unique yet universal, something to relate to.

With the Monday deadline playing peek-a- boo and with Sunday night teasing and jeering as it came with such shock, Ameera knew she had to pedal....and fast. An episode of "Golden Girls" was blaring loudly from the television and then the theme song darted in a luring echo across the room. "Thank you for being a friend," was the start of the song and right there Ameera felt the rush of a title for her column, "Friendship." She played around with this subject, juggling ideas and wondering how she was going to make the audience relate to the topic. Ameera knew exactly how she would concoct it. Instead of talking about what makes a good friend, she would urge readers to search for those figurative red flags to avoid getting hurt in friendships.

Oozing with delight at the rush of ideas, Ameera begins to type, "10 Red Flags in Friendships- Red means Stop."

1. One sided dynamic: You bring warmth and passion to the friendship and your intentions are always genuine yet you do not experience this reciprocity and you constantly feel depleted whenever you interact in this friendship. You share everything and you are willing to give your very last, yet they never budge. They are greedy in spirit.

2. The feeling of unsafety: You have to think deeply about everything you say for fear that it will reach where it should not. You feel uneasy in their presence because they are always scrutinizing like vultures hunting for prey. You must always be careful to not overshare for fear that they may cause you to feel bad about your happiness or your success.

3. Comparison: You feel like everything you do and say is being compared to them. They compare what you wear, what you eat, the places you go, the things you do, and they practice this comparison in a condescending manner; in a way that intends to diminish your presence. They are not worried about you; they are only worried about you in comparison to them.

4. Gossip: The only time they are happy around you, is when there is an insatiable amount of gossip flowing from their lips. They are negative towards everyone; they heavily judge people's decisions and they have a negative opinion about how everyone lives their lives. 

5. Competition: They eyeball and lowkey study every area of your life. Things you might purchase or any plans that you share suddenly become something they madly try to pursue as well. They run ahead of you and your plans in order to try to attain before you. They try to outdo you in every area of your life, and they are relentless to overpower you.

6. No Discretion: They waltz in with no regard to your boundaries. They covet what belongs to you without your permission and have no regard for how their behavior makes you feel. They want to have a hold on your every decision; from your family affairs to work to your love life. Yet, their life remains obscured and hidden from you.

7. Gaslighting and Undercover Jokes: They shame you in a light and giddy way. They make light jokes of your insecurities or struggles you may face, all in the name of banter or "lightening the mood." They make you feel guilty for their wrong doings, and they are incapable of taking accountability.

8. Loud for Downfalls, Quiet for Successes: They go silent when you share your "up" moments or they rarely give feedback to something you are happy about. They are silent in the moments where you need some praise, and their eyes are angry even while they viciously declare "I am happy for you." They laugh at your mistakes and guilt trip you instead of supporting you.

9. Jealous and Envious: They secretly do not like you and they attempt to maliciously overthrow you. They learn your weaknesses and set them up against you in an effort to portray you to others as an awful person. They are envious of you and do not desire for you to grow. They do not want you to have what they have, nor do they want you to have anything at all. They spit dirt on your name in your absence and they lie so that others will disregard you too. Their whole aim is to discredit you. They hate how people love you. 

10. Deceitful: They are constantly seeking ways to mislead you, to gain and take from you. They encourage you to hate who they hate and are master manipulators. They do not give you enough time to think for yourself, rather they paint horrible pictures of their enemies so that you can help them hold grudges too. Master liars, tongues of snakes and slippery worms they are, tainting every canvas that they slide along.

Ameera sighs and wonders how Mr. Trial would feel about this piece. After all, he demanded riveting, he insisted on making it relatable to the masses. She opened her email and pasted the link into the dialog box. She clicked send and was about to close down her computer. This was the fastest response to an email she had ever received. Mr. Trial was over the moon. Towards the end of his email response, he wrote "Ameera, I think you lived in my mind, I saw those red flags once and I ran......I stopped." Mr. Trial was thrilled with this piece. He said if he could, he would print the paper tonight!