Rest in Peace

Ether's shovel battled against the scorched ground, boring with exasperation, desperately carving cavernous graves. There would be no funeral today, but some things needed to be buried, to dissipate. Ether dug anxiously and expeditiously, eager to put down this invisible but crushing weight where it belonged once and for all.

She dug past noon and by then the heat was glaring. Its sting on her skin resembled the pain she felt that was constantly tugging at her temples. The water she gulped tasted like bitter tears and then she quickly realized they were her own. They fell without warning, staining her weary feet with their cumbersome splashes.......... that hurt! Close to dusk, Ether had dug six holes and it was then that the procession of laying to rest would begin.

With no priest to pray and deliver a blessing, she became her own holy oil and incense. There would be no holy, white cloth to save today. The absence of solemnity was just what Ether needed to be brave, as she was wearied by the continuous loop of trigger and heal. Even death would be more peaceful than this lifetime of tug of war. With a thunderous sigh, she placed the overthinking that swindled her of her sleep most nights in the first grave and hurriedly covered it, sealed it, buried it. She put the thoughts of him, that man, that wolf of a man into the second grave and made sure to kick in the hurt and the unfair cards he once dealt her into the grave with him. Ether sealed that grave with such ambition and then reinforced with a boulder; he should never be allowed to claw his way out to ever find her and reside rent free in her mind's sacred space.

The sight of the third grave gave her shivers. She had to place the traumas of a stained childhood inside, the ones delivered by an uncaring mother, nurturing her with doubt and insecurity but now her stomach had been so full, she had began to regurgitate, she had become allergic. She was unsure though, of how she would cover this one. Leaves perhaps to keep a little breathing space open, to possibly revisit? Or maybe cement? Yes, cement! Gushing waterfalls of tears carved lines in her face as she laid this one down and right there, she felt her shoulders lift a little at the burial. The fourth grave was for the friends she trusted who were the like vultures of the desert....... the ones who eyed her every move and prowled, who waited for the opportune moment to swoop, to dive, to attack. They had sunk their claws and picked at her bones, and all the while they smiled with lovely faces, but their shadows were horrendous against the light's backdrop and Ether was shocked when she saw who they really were. She slammed them into the grave and snapped the padlock tight. Ether tossed the key.

Grave number five belonged to the things she could not control, the things that distorted her reality and gave her false expectations of how her life should be, the things that obscured the truth about timing and seasons, the things that fooled her into believing she should have "it" now. She dumped them down into that dark pit and stomped on them. She was their master, never to be their slave anymore. The things she could not control suddenly became "out of her hands," and her shoulders lifted higher. She was almost facing the sun. The sixth grave was the most immense; to create space for the heaviest load that needed to be buried. There Ether stood and lifted the weight of people's opinions and judgements, found herself staggering at its mass. Then with all her might plus that of God, she cast them down into the grave. This grave needed no cover, as their opinions fell so deep that the darkness of the grave immediately consumed them. Ether took no chances though, she breathlessly began to enfold.

Ether sat down on a shrub, in relief and leaned into the glorious goodbye of the sunset. The light rays guzzled her and baptized her with their warmth, consoling her, reassuring her. She gazed upon the six graves proudly, and as if to pen each headstone, she slowly whispered, "I pray you all will rest in peace!"

There........... the sun set and Ether found her peace.